Since my life began on the 18th of January, I honor the passing of the years more on that day than on the 1st.  Tomorrow is that day and frankly I’m not ready.   I didn’t feel that great about turning 38 and I’m really struggling with 39 since it is way too close to 40 for my liking.

My 38th year was a good one that brought about some life changing decisions .  I left a job that had stopped fulfilling me long ago and a life that had become monotonous.  It was neither a difficult nor an easy decision to make yet it was both.  It was just what I felt deep down was required for me to progress and I had to trust that the details would work themselves out eventually.

Now as I approach the start of my 39th year I am struggling because after such life changing decisions, where do I possibly go next.  In my struggle I’ve had to evaluate where my life is and unlike me, where I want it to go.  I’ve come to the conclusion that I have to keep my focus on the things that I want that I can control and as difficult it is for me to relinquish control, leave the things that aren’t just up to me in the Lords hands.

All I know today is that I have control over the things that I do each moment to make my life happy and healthy and that will have to be good enough for now.



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