Just Another Moment of Randomosity

I have so many thoughts in my head and I cannot focus on just one subject to write about and I am frustrated that I sit and I begin what could be a profound blog but somewhere in the middle I stop and I sit and I stare out in front of me as inevitably the other million thoughts take over and cloud my mind yet again with thoughts of the simple and the shallow and I worry about my friends and my family so far away as things that are happening are so beyond my control and I have to say goodbye to yet another friend and I pray that my friend’s loved one is ok though her cancer is growing and I worry about my family and hope that they’re ok and I ask God why and why and why and I feel that sometimes He is unfair and won’t give me what I want and I wonder what’s next for me and if I will make it and if the loneliness I feel at not having the life I used to will ever go away and if I will ever fit in enough in this new place to make new friends and why can’t losing weight be just as easy as gaining it and now I need a new iPod because my old one is no longer working and I shouldn’t really spending money on a new iPod but I need it to workout and is it really a need or is it a want and if it’s only a want why can’t I give myself a gift since there’s no other person around to do it and then I think how can I make a living and not have to go into an office on a regular basis how can I make writing my means of making a living and how can I do that if I can’t focus enough to write about one simple subject.