I woke up one morning in July 2009 feeling the burdens of the world weighing on me like a ton of bricks. I was quickly losing my grip and feared they would fall and I would be buried in the rubble. I got ready for work, walked out the door and as I crossed the street to my car I thought, “I need to quit and I need to go spend some time in Puerto Rico.” Within seconds I felt lighter and all the tension I’d been feeling was gone. I’m not as brave as some who know me seem to think, so when I got to work I immediately told a couple of close friends. I knew that if I kept it to myself, I would allow fear to take over and I would choose the comfort of the life that I knew, even if it had stopped making me happy, over the unknown. From the minute I shared my plans with those friends it became a done deal. Not only would I get the change of environment that I so needed, but I would get to spend time with my ailing father as well as get to know the brother I had yet to meet. Somehow the details worked themselves out in the ensuing months, I gave up my well-paying job, and I was on a flight to Puerto Rico on October 28th not knowing when or if I’d return.
Fast forward to today, a day in early June. I’ve been in Puerto Rico for just a little over seven months and I’m still unsure of what comes next. It seems that recently each day brings with it both positives and negatives and which cancels the other out, depends on nothing but possibly the direction of the wind.
All I know today is…
While I am as poor as poor can be I am not lacking for anything that I need.
While I have no real social life I have met some new people I feel that I can sincerely call friends, who keep me laughing and thinking with their humor and intelligence.
While I have no true direction I am being given opportunities that I never dreamed possible. I am writing for an audience, reviewing books, and connecting with people who, like me, are chasing their dreams, and that, I realize, is my direction….where ever my dreams take me.
One thought on “All I know today is…”
Seems like you made the right choice amiga – and you ARE brave