Every morning on my way to work I have a conversation with God. It’s my version of a prayer and I prefer this method because it makes me feel closer to Him. I feel like He’s just a buddy that I can talk to about anything. He’s a good listener…rarely interrupts.
Most mornings I thank him for all that I have been blessed with, but when it gets closer to my birthday the conversations change a little. Sometimes they get a little tense and I let Him know that I’m a little upset with him. I start asking him the why’s. Why haven’t I met someone? Why is it easier for everyone else? Why isn’t my life progressing like everyone elses? Why? Why? Why???? As I continue with my whining, He remains patient and says NOTHING, which of course infuriates me more.
Then a funny thing happens. I begin to feel nostalgic. I find old photo albums, I try to find old friends and get in touch. Then slowly but surely, right in front of my eyes are the images, the people, the places and the things that have made my life so amazing. It changes my perspective. I begin to see that I’ve had the chance to travel to places some people will never see. I have friends all over the world. I may not have my own children (yet) but have five nephews and three nieces that I adore and I’ve been mother, sister and friend to many a lost college student. I have a great family and the best friends anyone could ask for.
So there I go…my life may not have turned out to be what I thought it would be but I have no real complaints.
So as today is my personal new year’s eve I will celebrate this new year of my life for the wonderful thing it has been, can be and WILL BE!
2 thoughts on “NYE…for me that is”
I totally feel your pain! I can’t tell you how long I went feeling hopeless and angry. I always got over it for a while but those feelings creep back in. I tried to hold on to the thought that there is something more I need to learn about myself before I can be with someone else. Of course now that I am with someone I am finding that I still have so much to learn. Maybe the person you are suposed to be with has some work of his own to do before he can be the person you need him to be. Who knows, I think that you are on the right track though, it is not easy to be alone…it sucks! You feel like your life is on hold. Keep taking care of you, find peace and happiness, which it sounds like you are doing. We all deserve to be happy, unfortunatly our definition of that has to change based on our circumstance.
Hi Wylbia!!! I have been thinking about you and all the movie premieres we attended and if they were sold out found some equal or even better to watch. I miss hanging out with old friends, you and I had some fun memories!!!!!I hope you are well. You always made my life happy!!! Remember the mexican food restaurants?? Be happy!!