I just found a journal and in it I have only one entry. It’s of a day sometime ago. A day I don’t recall specifically but I remember the general feeling of that time in my life and I can imagine that with all that was going on; that day definitely had the potential to be rough. And so I wrote the following:
“I have tears in me that won’t cry. They come so close to the surface, but refuse to continue on their intended journey. They fall back to that place, a well of safety, fearing the flood they would cause. They don’t realize what freedom and peace the journey brings.
Each day brings more tears to this well. I beg them to free themselves, to create a waterfall and cause a flood. I want its freedom. I want its peace”
A Libby Blog 
It is amazing how old journal entries can evoke old feelings. WOW – sounds like you were definitely going through something – hope brighter days came along!