XX vs. XY

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus; The Rules; He’s Just not that IntoYou: books made for women to understand men; understand how to get one and understand how to understand him once you have him. I’m pretty sure that no one has written a book to help men understand women because as my good friend once said, “I understand women. All you have to do is overanalyze everything and be a little paranoid.”

So do these books work? I don’t think so. At best they make us think about some of our behaviors and help us to put on an act, but it doesn’t change who we are naturally as women. It doesn’t change our desire for true intimacy. It doesn’t change the fact that for most of us (I’d venture to say 99.9% of us) sex is an emotional act and separating the act from our emotions is almost virtually impossible. That one little difference of a Y  chromosome changes everything.

I see this all the time when dealing with my students. They get caught up in situations because they think so differently. Girls strutting their stuff around for all the guys to notice then crying when they’re not shown respect. Boys sleeping around with different girls thinking they have it going on, then getting tricked when these pissed off girls come together (think, John Tucker Must Die).

I had to deal with one such situation just this week. Two students dismissed because she couldn’t control her emotions and he couldn’t control his hormones. In the end, she realized that she let her emotions get the best of her. He, on the other hand, didn’t get it. Maybe he will someday.

Hopefully someone will write a book. Maybe they’ll title it “Analytical Paranoia: The Safe Way to a Woman’s Pants While Sidestepping the Heart.” Until then, the war wages on and at best we have tolerance and acceptance of each other’s differences.